Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Clown, Deconstructed.

Clown Half

As any avid thrifter can tell you: there is no shortage of clown paraphernalia at your average thrift store. They’re on coffee mugs and cross-stitch art. They’re in porcelain and plaster. They’re lurking in the knick-knack area and within the depths of the stuffed toy bins.

And today we are featuring one, right here on Let’s Go Thrifting!

Direct from 2nd Ave for the low, low cost of 90 cents, we bring you a clown. That's right. For your entertainment and enlightenment we have captured a single clown for the purpose of a study in fear.

























First Observation.
He looks harmless enough, with the lone poof ball on his starred costume and the welcoming gesture of his arms.

But upon closer inspection…

Closn Closer 1
Second Observation.
Those eyebrows are rather…confrontational. And it seems his ruffles are flailing in anger, like the feathers on a bird of prey, poised to attack.

And closer, still…

Clown Closest

Final Observation.
Those empty, soulless eyes. The marked furrow of his brow. The impossibly tiny red hat. These are all proven scientific features of a murderer. Especially the hat.

Conclusion.
Despite initial appearances, all clowns have impulses to maim, murder or at the very least, scare the living crap out of their owners.

Thrifters, beware. No matter how unassuming...No matter how cheap... a clown is a clown. It will juggle. It will make balloon animals. And it will get you while you’re sleeping.


Have you seen this clown?

pennywise
This is Pennywise the Clown.  
If you find any clown-related merchandise that bares even the slightest semblance to him, for the love of God and all things holy, leave it be. Even if it only costs a penny at Goodwill, leave it  and run--don't walk--to the nearest exit.





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9 comments:

monogirl said...

The teeth on that clown resemble Tim Curry's-as Pennywise or not! Yikes!

Jackie said...

I think they do too! I can't believe I allowed this thing into my home. Ahh, the things we do for the sake of thrifty research...

Thanks for the follow!

donkee said...

The lines on the forehead are from decades of malcontent and jealous rage of those of us who wear normal sized hats...

Jackie said...

You said it, donkee. We practical-hat wearing folk don't know the turmoil of tiny hats!

Van said...

The teeth and the angry wrinkles on the forward! This clown means to murder.

I'd have taken photos at the store and not allowed this monstrosity into my home. There's little wonder why everyone donates their creepy clown merchandise...

Jackie said...

Don't worry, Van. I keep him caged at night. Still, the faint sound of giggling when I'm trying to sleep does keep me up. We did end up taking some photos at the store. But without the zoom on my digital camera, I just couldn't capture the rage in those forehead wrinkles. He is one angry clown.

Dhamma said...

I had a clown similar to the first one. My dad gave it to me for Christmas, which now I know means he hated me. But this thing sat, played music and his body turned. I didn't play him much but he liked to play on his own. One night he just started playing, do you know what that is like? I had blocked it until now, thanks a lot.:)

Eli said...

jeez! It looks like if Pennywise was a baby!

Jackie said...

Sorry, Dhamma for triggering memories of the creepiest thing I've ever heard. Go to your happy place...

Eli, I think it's a mini, pre-pubescent Pennywise!