Monday, March 12, 2012

Naughty Bits at the Thrift

Oh my! 

Greetings, thrifters. It's been a long time. But nothing says welcome back to Let's Go Thrifting! quite like a post on all of the terribly naughty things I've found at the thrift. But before I begin, a small disclaimer.

This blog entry is rated PG-13 for sexually suggestive material, adult themes and language. Parental discretion is advised.

Now that's out of the way...

Let's set the mood.  Shall we light a few candles, perhaps put a record on?

This sweet LP was 27 cents at Goodwill. Score, indeed 

Ah, yes. Music To Strip By is the definitive soundtrack score to this naughty, naughty post. Of course, everyone loves "The Stripper," but personally my favorite track is "Night Train." It's a little jazzy, a little sleazy and overall just a real good time. 

Now speaking of sleazy, photographer Mark Helfrich knows a thing or two about good times. Undoubtedly, he has a way with the snapshot and gorgeous women of the time. But being one of the gals who upholds feminist ideology, I'm not entirely sure how to feel about this particular thrift find.

It's exactly what you think it is.
But before you start chasing me with torches and pitchforks in a public outrage, there are a few things you must know:

  • Naked Pictures of My Ex-Girlfriends: Romance in the 70s is a collection of intimate photos, each with a vignette about the time and the circumstance. Some funny, some cynical, some a little sad. But it's honest, for what it is. 

  • The author/photographer got formal releases and permission for use of the photographs from his many women throughout the decade. 

  • It's actually a rare book to find. I snatched it from behind the counter of the Philly AIDs Thrift for $35. It can run as high as $120 on Amazon.
You know what else was scandalous for the time? Interestingly enough, it was a bestseller, only further proving the theory that everybody does want to know but is too afraid to ask.

Oh, be afraid. Be very afraid. 

Come to think of it, I have a few questions of my own for Dr. Reuben, the self-proclaimed "apostle" of sex education. (No, really. He actually uses the word "apostle.") His holiness makes many broad-based sociological, if not entirely medically inaccurate assumptions for a certified practitioner. 

"Most girls become prostitutes because they like it." 

That is a direct quote pertinent to prostitution circa 1969. Thanks for the info, doc.

While the entire chapter on frigidity leaves me cold to the idea that the good doctor has ever actually engaged in sexual relations with a flesh and blood woman, my hands-down, all-time favorite segment of the book has to be this.

This heated exchange between an obscene caller and his victim has turned to hysterics. The humanity! 

And as we reach the conclusion climax to this whole torrid  affair...

I must only say that it's common knowledge. Sex sells. So why should we be shocked when it starts selling at the thrift? After all, we all at one time have asked or inevitably will be asked by a future generation the universal question: 

Well kid, that's a long story. 

Voulez vous thrift avec moi ce soir? 
That's the second universal question.