Monday, March 12, 2012

Naughty Bits at the Thrift

Oh my! 

Greetings, thrifters. It's been a long time. But nothing says welcome back to Let's Go Thrifting! quite like a post on all of the terribly naughty things I've found at the thrift. But before I begin, a small disclaimer.

This blog entry is rated PG-13 for sexually suggestive material, adult themes and language. Parental discretion is advised.

Now that's out of the way...

Let's set the mood.  Shall we light a few candles, perhaps put a record on?

This sweet LP was 27 cents at Goodwill. Score, indeed 

Ah, yes. Music To Strip By is the definitive soundtrack score to this naughty, naughty post. Of course, everyone loves "The Stripper," but personally my favorite track is "Night Train." It's a little jazzy, a little sleazy and overall just a real good time. 

Now speaking of sleazy, photographer Mark Helfrich knows a thing or two about good times. Undoubtedly, he has a way with the snapshot and gorgeous women of the time. But being one of the gals who upholds feminist ideology, I'm not entirely sure how to feel about this particular thrift find.

It's exactly what you think it is.
But before you start chasing me with torches and pitchforks in a public outrage, there are a few things you must know:

  • Naked Pictures of My Ex-Girlfriends: Romance in the 70s is a collection of intimate photos, each with a vignette about the time and the circumstance. Some funny, some cynical, some a little sad. But it's honest, for what it is. 

  • The author/photographer got formal releases and permission for use of the photographs from his many women throughout the decade. 

  • It's actually a rare book to find. I snatched it from behind the counter of the Philly AIDs Thrift for $35. It can run as high as $120 on Amazon.
You know what else was scandalous for the time? Interestingly enough, it was a bestseller, only further proving the theory that everybody does want to know but is too afraid to ask.

Oh, be afraid. Be very afraid. 

Come to think of it, I have a few questions of my own for Dr. Reuben, the self-proclaimed "apostle" of sex education. (No, really. He actually uses the word "apostle.") His holiness makes many broad-based sociological, if not entirely medically inaccurate assumptions for a certified practitioner. 

"Most girls become prostitutes because they like it." 

That is a direct quote pertinent to prostitution circa 1969. Thanks for the info, doc.

While the entire chapter on frigidity leaves me cold to the idea that the good doctor has ever actually engaged in sexual relations with a flesh and blood woman, my hands-down, all-time favorite segment of the book has to be this.

This heated exchange between an obscene caller and his victim has turned to hysterics. The humanity! 

And as we reach the conclusion climax to this whole torrid  affair...

I must only say that it's common knowledge. Sex sells. So why should we be shocked when it starts selling at the thrift? After all, we all at one time have asked or inevitably will be asked by a future generation the universal question: 

Well kid, that's a long story. 

Voulez vous thrift avec moi ce soir? 
That's the second universal question. 


Vanessa said...

Love each find! I'd especially love flip through the ex girlfriends and Dr. Reuben books. I bet he was the one making the obscene call, I bet he wrote that all down verbatim. He seems like the kind of repressed sicko that'd do such a thing.

Jackie Jardine said...

The thought of Dr. Reuben being a total perv crossed my mind as well, Van. And actually the Naked Pictures of my Ex Girlfriends book is a really cool collection of confident girls from the 70's. It's kind of a strange concept. But the dude's a good photographer. "Where DidI Come From?" Is hilarious too. I love the illustrations!

<3 Jackie

Anonymous said...

Lol - my mom actually bought me a copy of "Where Did I Come From" when I was in 3rd grade. Oh, the traumatic memories!!

Jackie Jardine said...

Yeah, that's one way of explaining the birds and the bees...with a visual aid! Ha!

<3 Jackie

Unknown said...

That is hysterical! Love it! I need to go snooping through the book section.

Jackie Jardine said...

Sometimes a little investigating in an unassuming section will really yield some wild results, as you can see here in this post. Ha!

Well thanks for reading, Finders Keepers!

<3 Jackie @ Let's Go Thrifting!

Style Agent 909 said...

What a hilarious post! I love your blog. I'm having a look around. The post on the fashion show was great and so it this.
That burlesque album is terrific!

Jackie Jardine said...

Thanks for taking a peek around, Style Agent. This post was a lot of fun to work on, once I realized Ia amassed so many naughty thrifted finds. And I love, love, love the burlesque album.

<3Jackie @ Let's Go Thrifting!

Anonymous said...

The best thing I've ever heard about what to do during an obscene phone call is to ask them to hold while you get a drink and a cigarette (it was about the time the book came out hence the cigarette).

I've had a few of them and if I'd acted like that I'd have smacked myself. Hello? Hello? hang up....easy peasy....

Would love to see the Girlfriends book, sweet find. Talkin' 'bout my generation ;o)

Jackie Jardine said...

Hi there, stranger. Thanks for reading. There was a time when a friend of mine was receiving incessant obscene calls. She handled it out-perving the pervert caller. It was hilarious to sit in on those conversations, lol!

<3 Jackie @ Let's Go Thrifting!