Friday, August 24, 2012

Vintage Photo Friday: Lightness, Darkness, Loss

A golden clearing.

This week's Vintage Photo Friday is rather...interpretative. This particular photo that I took a few days ago has a muted tone that I find fascinating. The greens are golden from the sun, giving the entire shot an aged look. This photo was taken on the grounds of the Arrowhead Lake community, where I was fortunate to spend a few days with friends. In the Poconos, the sun was brighter and the air was crisp. The nights--cool and quiet--far from the city lights, were filled with an incredible darkness. 

Darkness falls upon the lake after sunset. 

Sadly, I carried some of that darkness with me back home to Philadelphia. For the last few weeks, Penny, the younger of my two pugs, was seriously ill. After several trips to the vet and endless antibiotics, my family had to make a difficult decision while I was away. And on Monday evening, after exhausting all other resources, my little Penny-pug was put to sleep. I didn't get to say goodbye. Before I left for the mountains, I knew her health had taken a sharp decline. I told my parents that if her next trip to the doctor left no possibility for recovery, not to let her suffer. I said that I would understand. And I do. I do understand. I also feel like my heart is broken into a million pieces at not being able to hold my puppy while she slipped away.

Rest in Peace, little girl. 

I can't stop crying over the fact that I wasn't there for her when she was always there for me. It might sound corny,but that dog always sensed when I was in pain. In our 11 years  together, she has spent many-a-day on the couch cuddling with me when I had a surgery or an illness that had me housebound. She understood pain and she stayed with me. Both of my pugs stayed with me. And now Penny is gone and Pugsley seems a little lost without her here. I know I am.

I keep looking at the couch expecting her to be there. I know that this will take time to grieve her loss and that my being home wouldn't have helped her pain. Maybe it would have helped mine, though. 

In the meantime I'll have to remember her in happier times... Her running through the house stealing everyone's socks. Her dressed up like a banana for Halloween and her insatiable love of Twizzlers. 

But I will never stop missing her. 

My cuddling pugs.

Sorry for the sad story, thrifters. I know you come here for the quirky secondhand scores, not to see me sobbing all over your screen. But this is just where I am right now. 

I will return with thrifty updates soon. I promise.

Until then, this goes out to all the animal lovers: Give your furry, four-legged friends some love today. Love and Twizzlers. 

... For Penny 


Peace said...

:'O( (((HUGS))) I know the feeling and the love never stops. xo

Hunting Tigress said...

My Phoebe dog of 17 years passed away this summer so I know your pain and sadness. I am sorry you didn't get to be there with her when she passed. Our little girl went on her own at home and I was with her until the last breath - although it was still heartbreaking, at least I got to hold her and stroke her fur until the end. I will keep you in my thoughts. You never will stop missing her but you will get to a point where you can remember all the wonderful memories without tears although as I write this I am crying. Robin ;-)

Vanessa said...

Everyone who's ever lost a furry friend knows your pain well. I still miss my first pet, a Snow Shoe Siamese cat named April. I've had other cats but no one will ever take her place. Penny was adorable and seemed like a sweet dog. Sorry for your loss.

PS: Beautiful vintage photos you've share din this post.

Carletta said...

I lost my Pretty Princess (cat) on Monday. When her beautiful blue eyes were no longer brilliant, I knew it was time to let her go. Her sister, Lovely Luna, and I are mourning her leaving but celebrating her life.

Jackie Jardine said...

@ Peace: Thanks so much. I know the love will always be there.

@ Hunting: Thanks for sharing this, Robin. No matter how much time passes, I know there will always be a sense of loss. It's just so sad to lose our furry counterparts. Sorry to make you cry. Oh geez. Somebody hand us some Kleenex.

@ Van: Penny was the sweetest. And your kitty sounds pretty special. No matter how many pets we have over the years, it seems each of them has special qualities that we'll remember and love forever. And thanks for the photo appreciation!

@Carletta: I'm sorry to hear of your loss, too. Penny and Pugsley were our first coexisting dogs. Now that Pugsley is alone, I'm not sure how he'll fare with the loss. It's just so hard! But hopefully our memories will get us through.

Thanks so much for the kind words and personal stories, everyone. It means so much to me that you've taken the time to share some love.

<3 Jackie @ Let's Go Thrifting!

Serena said...

Sorry to hear about your loss! :( I don't own any pets, and typically consider myself NOT a pet person. But I do know that bond that one feels to their pets, and that's probably one of the reasons I don't own one, is because I don't think I could bear losing them. Hang in there! And you can blog about whatever you want--it's your blog! :) People will understand!

Thrift Diving

Rae - Say It Aint So said...

im a little late but i am so so sorry to hear that. even when it is the right choice, putting a pet to sleep is so hard. rest in peace pretty little penny. phyllis and priscilla are sending some pug kisses and snorts your way.

Jackie Jardine said...

Aw, thanks so much, Rae. I appreciate all the pug-love and condolences.

<3 Jackie @ Let's Go Thrifting!