Saturday, November 6, 2010

A Few Photos of Funky Finds

Dan here. First post. Howdo?

I'm not much for words, but here's a few snaps of things I thought were noteworthy, but didn't necessarily want in my home. If you come across these items that I've passed up, feel free to pick them up and cherish them forever. Or at least keep it around to make your guests go, "zomgwtf?!1"

Begin with a few creepy clowns.
The first two images here were found at Columbus Farmer's Market in Columbus, NJ. The place is HUUUGE, mostly outdoors, and open year-round. There're vendors of first-hand merchandise, some pretty good food trucks and the like, but the real highlight (for Joe and I at least) is the flea market tables. Go check it out.

This guy doesn't necessarily look violent, but is still probably a child rapist.

He, on the other hand, will bludgeon you to a bubbling bloody mess with that fancy guitar of his. Just look how frightened the little knick-knack girl looks behind him.

I found this guy at 2nd Ave near the Franklin Mills Mall in NE Philly.

His head comes in rings that stack on a pole to teach children just exactly how a clown's head is formed, and to identify weak points, should they need to destroy a clown.

Moving from clowns to dolls and doll-type things:
This first item was found at the Impact Thrift Store in Montgomeryville, PA.
"This Drink & Wet Doll... ok, that's pretty normal. Like a Little Betty Wets-herself.

"...Is A Physically Correct Male"??!?!
You read correctly. This doll has a penis. That it utilizes to simulate urination. Why?!
The only thing worse than a doll with a penis that simulates urination is a doll with a penis that simulates urination that is also Archie Bunker's grandson.

All too creepy. Just look at him in there. Peering out at you. Just waiting to pee all over you and your loved ones.

So is this guy. Just can't wait to get the drawers off. NE Philly 2nd Ave, once again.

And lastly, for the fashionably inclined, a purple Peeps hat. It's only $290.

Have a good however-long-it-is-before-our-next-post, good readers. Hope you enjoyed my snaps. Keep on thrifting.


Armando H. said...

Archie Bunker's grandson doll? WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jackie Jardine said...

I had the same reaction in the store! Also, I was more than a little disturbed by the sinister look that thing is giving me through the gap in the box.

I spotted this monstrosity and almost screamed across the store for Dan to come see it for himself. Hilarious!

Vanessa said...

Still wrapping my mind around how that doll could exist. CANNOT COMPUTE! Who the hell would buy that as anything other than a gag gift? The packaging looks too sincere to be real...

And the 2nd clown- that's something you place in your child's room to punish and traumatize them. I would not want to be alone with that thing in the dark.

Jackie Jardine said...

You said it, Van. I'm wondering if "Archie Bunker's grandson" was an import. The wording alone ("a physically correct male") suggests English wasn't the primary language.

Though stranger things have happened. I mean, the fact that this things even exists, import or otherwise is just completely random.

Oh and I'm convinced that clown could make a grown man cry.

I'm so glad Dan, a first-time writer on here, is a part of this project. He has a real talent for finding the craziest crap in thrifts and at flea markets!

Gina said...

OMG! I totally got that doll one Xmas back in the '70's! It was the only doll I would play with in fact! I haven't thought about "Joey" in decades!

Keep writing I was completely LMAO at your post and all those creepy clown things!

Jackie Jardine said...

Hi, Gina! Well that answers one question at least. Dan and I were wondering if this doll was the only one of its kind. Unless yours somehow made it to a thrift store in Montgomeryville, PA decades after the fact...we know there were at least two "Joeys" out there! Strange, indeed.

More strange thrift encounters will be posted soon!

Eli said...

oh no that second clown is so evil!

Anonymous said...

You have given me something else to search for. I had forgotten about Joey dolls and do not remember the "correctness" of them. I grew up in the Ken era.

Jackie Jardine said...

That second clown is evil incarnate, Eli.

Hello, dmuseit. I've never seen anything quite like this doll. But since you are the second person on here who knows of the "Joey," they must have been somewhat popular at one time.